Be in this moment

As I begin this post, I’m asking for a judgement-free zone.

I want to admit to you that I have a deep love for trashy reality TV.

I love it.

As a therapist, I often feel a self-imposed pressure to do something interesting, insightful, or edifying with my down time.

Like… read a book or something.

Do any other therapists feel this way?

However, after a long day at my laptop, a quick work out, and a thrown together dinner, truly all I want to do is crash on the couch with Warren and the pups and watch mindless drama unfold between a group of catty, internet-famous individuals.

Gah, it’s so good.

My most recent reality-show-binge is a new show on Netflix called The Trust. It’s a familiar plot - there is a pot of money, and a group of strangers have to scheme, deceive, and fight one another in order to win it.

So, sorta like a great Hemingway novel, but different.

I think one of the reasons I love reality TV is similar to why I’m drawn to true-crime documentaries - I love watching stories involving real people unfold.

I love analyzing their motivations, hearing their back stories, seeing how their doubts, fears, and insecurities surface.

I love making predictions about the outcome, cheering on the heroes, and identifying the core wounds in the “villains.”

Even though reality TV is my guilty pleasure, I often walk away feeling like I’ve learned something about humanity from the character’s interactions.

My most recent take-away was on episode three of The Trust - when one player, Winnie, confronted another player, Julie, about a bad decision Julie had made.

Julie was feeling a lot of remorse about her decision and Winnie told her, “Be in this moment that you are in now. Yesterday happened. It is what it is.”

I loved Winnie’s advice - be in this moment that you are in now.

I think it speaks to the understandable human impulse to move away, as quickly as possible, from feelings of regret, shame, or disappointment.

I know that, when someone confronts me about a mistake I have made, my knee-jerk reaction is to deflect, justify, or defend.

It’s really uncomfortable to sit in a moment of regret. It hits my ego - it’s hard and it’s painful

But I think there is such power and purpose in allowing myself to feel the feeling - to ask myself hard questions, to acknowledge the impact my actions might have caused, and to challenge myself to do better next time.

It’s also a critical key to unlocking personal growth. When I am brave enough to sit in a moment of discomfort and when I am willing to do so with honesty and authenticity, I learn something about myself.

I gain experience and strength that helps me react differently in the future - to grow, to learn, and to make better choices.

Also important is to not wallow in regret once you’ve made the proper amends.

As Winnie says, be in the moment that you are in now. Allow yesterday to be what it was - and make a better choice for today.

Do you guys see how I took trashy reality TV and made it a teachable moment?

I mean, that’s talent right there.